Kingdom Hearts Cafe
by FunFanFicForYou
Summary: All-out crazy, random, with three friends going out into the universe, making a café, and hopefully not failing. Stars Alysson, the sorceress extraordinaire who owns and waits tables at the café! Bane, the idiotic nut with plenty of hilarity, who hosts guests and tries their patience! And Storm, the calm, collected, chef, who's also a little nutty. Be ready to laugh. Funnily.
1. Chapter 0: A caf A

**Kingdom Hearts Café – Prologue**

"Let's go hurry up!" Alysson said to her two best friends, Storm and Bane. "We're gonna be late for our own opening!"

Alysson, a silver-eyed, blonde-haired girl, of the age of 14. She wore a striped, gray-and-white tank top with a darker gray, long-sleeved crop-top over it; upon the crop-top was an orange heart. She wore white jean shorts that touched her knees and flat, white sandals. She also accessorized with a white beret.

"Hold you're heartless's!" Bane told her carrying EVERYTHING on to the gummi ship.

Bane was 14, and proud of it! He wore a black t-shirt under a black, leather jacket, lined from the neck to the cuffs of his sleeves with white stripes. He also wore blue jeans and black tennis shoes with white laces, and one fingerless glove on his hand, split down the middle in black-and-white.

Storm walked over to a teary eyed Alysson. "Is this really happening?" Alysson asked.

"You better believe it!" Bane said dropping everything with a LOUD crash.

"Believe me it is." Storm assured her.

Storm was, guess what, 14! He wore red jeans (cause he was scared to wear shorts) and a t-shirt with the kingdom hearts logo on it. He also had a jacket that was half red and half white and a hidden note in his inside jacket pocket and black tennis shoes.

"Let's go before you two make us late." Bane said.

And, with that conversation over, our heroes (are they heroes?) got in their _'special'_ gummi ship and departed, for lands unknown!

**FunFanFicForYou: Well… I hope you like it. We're-**

**Halestorming: We're going to be posting a real chapter TOMORROW!**

**FunFan: THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY! But whatEVAH!**

**Storming: …Please. Don't do that… please.**

**FunFan: Well I can't **_**just**_** say toats my goats!**

**Storming: …You have me there. Shall we log off?**

**FunFan: You have me there. Shall we log off!**

**Storming : …You copy-pasted, didn't you?**

**FunFan: You saw me just do it… What do you think?**

**Storming: …The younger author, people. Please give her a hand. And review! We do hope you like this story, right FunFan?**

**FunFan: DURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

**Storming: …I think we should leave on that note.**

**FunFan: I think we should leave AWAY TO THE WINDOW! …On that music-note.**

**Storming: That's my thing! You're too random! I'm random! ME! I am the random king! Fetch my slippers, poppet!**

**FunFan: EAT MY DOUGHNUTS RANDOM TUNA UP MY ARMPIT! AND I'M THE RANDOM QUEEN!**

**Storming: …Shall we rule together, my Queen?**

**FunFan: Ehh, on Mondays to Sundays my dear dude.**

**Storming: …Dang, you're good. Are we done here?**

**FunFan: Done as a ghost eating icecream.**


	2. Chapter 1: do you want Sushi with that?

***Atlantica***

"la la la I'm diving the gummi ship." Alysson sang quietly.

"Diving?" Bane asked with a weird look, like that of a pationtes. (pationtes means "he-he-hem" plants at toilet paper interview on nicely toushie era stupidness, (YES I WENT THERE))

The band of three started screaming and floating because they hit water.

"HERE'S YOUR POSITIONS!" Alysson shouted Bane and Storm ran in like a herd of cows.

"I'm the manager and waitress, Bane, you're the host, and Storm, you're the chef."

"Whoo whoo!" Storm cheered. "I'm a chef! Mom'll be so proud."

Bane scratched his head. "Alysson? What's a host's job?"

"…" Suddenly, the ship stopped. "Time to open for business!" Alysson decreed.

And, with hard work and the press of a button, they opened the Kingdom Hearts Café! Soon enough, Merpeople swam inside the gummi ship/café-eatery.

"Welcome, guests!" Bane greeted, having gotten a black merperson tail upon arrival. "I'll show you to your table!" Bane led them to a table made from a giant seashell and chairs that looked like barnacles. "Our special today is Sebastian's Seafood Platter and your waitress will be with you shortly."

Bane then swam back to the front, humming 'Under the Sea'. "Well, you wanna play cards?" one merman asked his two friends.

"Nah," the other merman replied. "Rock-Seaweed-Pincers."

"How about charades?" the mermaid of the group suggested. It was a common-known fact that, in Atlantica, it could take up to twenty minutes before you even saw your server walk by, and a half-hour before you could get drinks. Getting your food… well, that took a LOT longer (about 3 to 6 hours 0.0).

"Hello!" Alysson greeted, swimming over with a shiny, orange tail. "Here's your menus, and would you like to try anything special? Our Sebastian Seafood Platter is only 240 munny!"

That surprised the fishy people. "Uhh, I'll try the seafood platter," one merman said. "What's in it?"

"Oh, well there are three fish-"

"Four," Bane corrected, carrying a small, wobbling bag to the kitchen.

"_Three,_" Alysson re-corrected sternly.

Bane pouted and threw the bag outside, letting a rather fat fish swim away frantically.

"…Three fish, in very small portion, being rainbow trout, trout, and flounder," Alysson explained. "It also comes with a lemon juice and tartar sauces, green olives, yellow tomatoes, and hush fishies (hush puppies)."

The merman nodded. "Yeah, I'll have that."

"Me too!" the other merman agreed.

"I'll have…" The mermaid looked over the menu for a moment. "Jasmine tea?" she asked, asking Alysson if she was pronouncing it right.

Alysson scribbled on her notepad, then nodded. "Yes, and your meal?" she asked.

The mermen assumed their friend would simply order the 'Mickey & Minnie Salad' or something else light, being the 'dainty' mermaid, and all.

"The Baby Hunch-back Ribs!" she decided. "And the Hades Soufflé-des… Make that three." The mermen looked at her with surprise. "For all of us," she explained.

Alysson finished up and put down her pad. "Thank you! Your food will be ready shortly," she said, swimming back to give Storm the first orders of the day.

Storm was leaning back in his seat, his new red tail waving lazily as he did. Then Alysson came in with the order. "Storm!" she said, startling the half-asleep chef. "We got one Jasmine tea, two of the Atlantica specials, one order of Baby Hunchback ribs, and three Hades soufflé-des! Got all that?"

"…Can you say that again?" Storm asked, turning the oven on. Alysson threw the ticket at him and left. "…Guess not." Storm then began cooking (with magic cookware that works underwater, by the way) while singing _'Les Poissons'_.

Meanwhile, Bane was chasing his fin in the front of the house. Alysson swam by and noticed this. She then pulled his ear and told him to get back to work.

Once Alysson arrived at the table, she sat the Jasmine tea at the mermaid's seat. "Here you are, miss," she said as she did.

"Wow. That fast?" the mermaid asked.

"Well, yes, we like to think so," Alysson agreed.

"Man, this place is fast," one merman commented.

"I'm gonna call my friends!" the mermaid decided. She swam outside and pulled a shell from nearby, then blew in the shell and some distorted words came out.

After a minute or two, her friends came. She quickly led them in and Bane seated this new party of five. Alysson then gave them all menus and went back to see how Storm was doing.

"Storm?" she called in as she opened the door. "How's that order coming?"

"Done," Storm said, placing the last soufflé in the oven and shutting it quietly. "The soufflés should be done right around the time they finish eating their meals. Which," he added, pointing to a nearby counter. "Are right there."

Alysson grabbed the plates and brought them to the first customers, then went to check on the others. "Are you ready to order?" she asked. They replied in gargled nonsense that sounded something like, "AGSDFHGVAFADHVFARTFG!" "One at a time, please!"

They then settled down and went in turns. "I'll have the BLT's for VIP's," the first merman said.

"I would like some of that Goofy's Cook-it-in-a-box," another added.

"One Disney Princess Party Platter!" a merman said.

After a moment of pure silence, the next one said their order. "A seafood platter special," the mermaid said. "Like theirs." She gestured to the other table of guests, who were eating with zeal.

"And I'll have Goofy's Goofy Gummy Gumbo," the last mermaid said as they handed their menus to Alysson.

"Thank you!" Alysson said. "Your food will be ready soon!"

Alysson swam back and gave Storm the ticket, to which he gulped. "That's a big order, Alysson," he said nervously. "Are you sure Bane can't help me back here?"

Alysson sighed. "No, he can't. You remember the last time he helped us cook." They both paused and shuddered somewhat. "We'll find another chef when we can, but until then you'll just have to deal with it."

Alysson swam back and saw Bane sputtering at something outside. "What is it, Bane?" Alysson asked as she swam over.

Bane coughed a bit, then pointed outside and said 'LOOK!" in a rasp.

Alysson looked outside and gasped.


	3. Chapter 2: Is it? It is! GASP!

**The kingdom hearts café **

There, outside their gummi ship/cafe, was Gordon Ramsey-Rainbowtrout, worlds-renowned restaurateur and food critic. He prepared his camerafish and swam toward their restaurant.

"Tell Storm!" Alysson ordered.

"But I have to greet him!" Bane argued.

"Don't argue with me, just tell him!"

"Don't argue about my arguing, just leave me be!"

"Umm, hello?" The duo turned and saw Gordon Rainbowtrout floating there, camerafish in tow.

"…Hello, good sir!" Bane greeted, pushing Alysson out of the way. "Would you like a table?"

"Yes, please," Gordon answered as the camerafish got some shots of the décor. Bane led him to a nice table in the center of the restaurant.

"Enjoy!" Bane said, swimming away backwards.

Alysson then swam up to his table. "Hello, sir," she greeted, taking out her pad and handing him a menu. "Would you like to try our special, today? It's-"

"Sebastian's seafood platter!" Bane interrupted enthusiastically, swimming in front of Alysson.

Alysson pushed him away. "Get back to your station!" she shouted after him. She cleared her throat and gave a nervous giggle. "Sorry about that," she apologized to Gordon.

Gordon cleared his throat as he looked over the menu. "Well, first of all, how good would you say the food is here, and what would you recommend?" he asked.

"Oh. Well, all the food is good, but I like the Goofy's cook-it-in-a-box, Baloo Stew with Mowgli Brie cheese, Sound of Music soup, Flapjack Skellington, Mickey Mousse… It's kind of hard to pick, actually," she admitted with a giggle.

Gordon nodded, folding the menu and handing it back to her. "I'll have that then," he said.

"…Which one?" Alysson asked, a little confused.

"All of them," he replied. "The one's you just listed, that is. And one of the specials, as well."

Alysson paused, then quietly wrote the order down and swam back to Storm. On the way back, she passed Bane. "Bane," she said. "Storm's gonna need some help in the kitchen."

"Oh yeah!" Bane shouted, grabbing the order ticket and swimming back to help Storm… more or less.

Alysson then swam back to the kitchen, and quietly took the finished orders as Storm and Bane prepared to fix Gordon's food.

She brought the orders to the table and went to check on the first party. "Are you ready for your dessert?" she asked the full merpeople.

One of the mermen shook his head. "Can't handle it," he said. "We'll take 'em to-go." The others agreed, so Alysson boxed their soufflé-des and brought them their check.

"…Huh," the other merman said upon seeing it. "It's not all that expensive either. I've got it covered, guys. My treat." He then gave Alysson some munny, said 'Keep the change,' and they left.

"First table – success," Alysson noted, putting the munny in the register and the tip in her personal tip jar. "Better check on the guys."

She swam back to the kitchen door, reached out for the handle, then heard an explosion. She opened the door and a crispy/blackened Bane came out. "Bane!" she exclaimed. "What happened!"

"…I shouldn't have touched the rice cooker…" Bane simply swam back to his station, muttering, "I shouldn't have touched the rice cooker."

…Alysson slowly swam in, seeing that there was a large black spot where an oven should have been. "Where's the oven!?" she shouted as she swam over. Storm said nothing, but pointed straight up. Alysson looked and saw an oven-shaped hole in the ceiling of the ship.

"…Was Gordon's food in there?" Alysson asked.

Storm turned, picked up a few plates, and handed some to her. "No," he replied. "Just a pie I was hoping to have on my break."

As Storm remorsed over the lost pie, they brought Gordon Rainbowtrout's food to his table. "Thank you," Gordon said as they laid the plates out. "Are you the chef?" he asked Storm. Storm nodded. "Then would you mind staying? I can see you aren't busy right now, and I have some questions about some of the dishes, if you don't mind."

"Not at all," Storm replied, floating nearby.

Gordon first examined the Baloo Stew with Mowgli Brie cheese as Alysson gave the other table their check. "Good texture," he commented as the camera watched him. "The cheese is soft, but not soupy." He then took a spoonful and swallowed it.

Storm and Alysson (and also Bane, who was eavesdropping from nearby), waited to hear what he had to say. "…Delicious," he said simply having some more of the soup. "Absolutely stunning."

Well, he went on, trying all the other dishes he had ordered and giving each the same stamp of approval as the last. And then he got to the special. "What's in this again?" he asked Storm.

"Small portions of rainbow trout, trout, and salmon," Storm replied.

"I thought it was flounder?" Alysson asked.

"It is," Storm replied. "But I saw a flounder out the window a second ago, so… you know…"

Gordon tried a bite of the platter, then the sides. He chewed a minute, swallowed, then turned to Storm and Alysson. "…Superb," he said with a smile as Storm nearly fell over out of relief. "You do some very nice work, Chef…"

"Storm," Storm replied, shaking Gordon's hand. "And thank you, Chef Rainbowtrout."

"May I speak with the owner, please?" he asked.

"That's me," Alysson replied, swimming forward.

Gordon was a little surprised by this. "Oh," he laughed, shaking her hand. "Lovely to meet you, then. You have a fine establishment."

Alysson curtsied. "Thank you, sir," she replied.

"Oh, before I go," he said as he gave Alysson the munny for his meal. "What was the host's name?"

"Bane," Alysson replied as Storm went back to the kitchen.

"Ah, yes," Gordon said as he prepared to go. "How skilled is he?"

"None to little," Alysson replied as Bane played with a Chinese finger trap behind her.

"Why does he work here, then?" Gordon asked as Bane got his fingers stuck in the trap.

"Well, he can…" Alysson trailed off. "He's able to… When we need help in the kitchen… He's very… He's Storm's friend," she admitted.

Gordon nodded. "I see," he said, swimming out. "Well, you'll want to keep that chef, then. Goodbye!"

Alysson waved. "Goodbye!" she shouted back as he swam away. She turned to see Bane with his nose and one finger stuck in the finger trap.

"…I can explain," Bane said quickly. "…Okay, I can't."

Well, once Alysson helped Bane and they served a couple more merpeople, they closed up for the day.

"I need a fishing hook," Bane rambled on. It seemed it had lasted hours. Halfway through, Alysson asked Storm a question. "Can you PLEASE shut him up!"

"Believe me I've tried," Storm said, swatting bubbles with his tail. "So, where are we going next?"

"We're going to Club Cool, of EPCOT – Walt Disney World," Alysson said.

**FunFan: so…BANTERING RULES!**

**Storming: We have rules to bantering? Really? …What are they?**

**FunFan: Idiot.**

**Storming: …Dang. :'(**

**FunFan: Whats wrong my king?**

**Storming: Well, I can't wait for people to read this chapter and review it!**

**FunFan: yes we both REALLY thank CirciFox81314 for already reviewing THANK YOU CIRCIFOX81314! AND WHO FARTED!**

**Storming: …I admit to NOTHING! …Also, I had potatoes tonight… just sayin…**

**FunFan: …..**

**Storming: Well, on another note, we're working hard on the next chapter!**

**FunFan: yup BYE AND YET AGAIN THANKS, CIRCIFOX81314!**

**Storming: Yeah, thank you!**


	4. Chapter 3: club cool, bacon, bane OH MY!

(in EPCOT) "WE'RE HEEERRREEEE!" yelled Alyson.

"I KNOOOWWWWOOOO!" Bane yelled back. "Fartknocker…" said Alyson under her breath

"MOOOoooOOO!" they all heard from china

"…so are we al set? Storm said

"Yeah we AL are." Said Alyson as she exchanged a HIGH 5 from Bane.

"CLUB COOOOOOLLLLLL!" said Storm

"anyway…so its national bacon day! " said Alyson "yep bacon, bacon, and more bacon!" said storm Alyson and storm high fived." "hey where's perr-I mean bane OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOONE! Said bane. "WHYYYYYYY!" said Alyson

"that's how much bacon we have…sorry. PLEASE

DON'T HURT ME!" "…Bane YOU SON OF A

MOTHERLESS GOAT!" Alyson said as Storm held

her arms back. "Alyson please don't hurt him, we

need a tur-I mean third CHARACTER!" "you

mean turd character. Alyson said "okay-" storm

TRIED to say "BANE GET BACON OR YOUR F-F-F-

FIRED!" yelled Alyson "okay okay i- FIRED!" yelled bane"

**BANTER! **

**Funfan: MOOOOOO, you must be STORMING! hehehehehehehe**

**Storming: …Yes, yes i am.**

**Funfan: BUR-i-TOE! Furri vegi **

**Stormywormy: Well, that's a little- YOU MESSED WITH MY NAME!**

**Funfanfare: FARTKNOCKER! **

**Fartknocker: Well… That was mean… But i'm happy we got another chapter up !**

**Funfan: alright cherry turd lets let the poor people get their faces off the computer-WHAT AM I SAYING!? READ ON THE LAPSTOPS! (all said in a austrailian accent)**

**Meowmix: Well said. I- MEOWMIX!? Now you're pushing it!**

**Funfart: OKAAAAYYYYY. Well we've banturd enough.( look up meow mix song on youtube!) **

**Catsmeow'sfart'sbook'sMEOW: …Now that- …is actually pretty good. GOODNIGHT FANFICTION!**

** ?: waddle away waddle waddle away bom bom bom.**


End file.
